High Lonesome

Blame It On Rio

Wow!
Runin' from that White House, Barry, time to head for paradise
Air Force One's a waitin', I suppose it's very nice
With a lurch to the left, flip the bird to the right
Catch that plane to avoid the test
You know you're somethin' special and they say you dress the best

His name is Barry and his head's stuck beneath the sand
Just like an ostrich, Barry. You haven't got a plan
And when crisis looms you're always on the lam
Oh Barry, Barry, play golf (because you can) 

 

I think one of the most important things a man can do, even when it pains him, is to stand up and recognize someone with whom he has profound disagreements and admit when they were right.  Alright, I'm saying it.  Hillary Clinton was correct.  It's 3 AM.  There's a phone ringing in the white house.  And Historic Leader's off to Rio!!

That's right.  With an unprecedented crisis in Japan (only one of our biggest allies and trading partners), no budget at home, and the middle east sliding into a region wide civil war Historic Leader has seen fit to take the family down to Rio for his first State Visit to Brazil.  Now, I could let this slide if there was some urgent reason for going.  Like dealing with any of the three crisis mentioned above, for instance.  But, no, Barry is going all the way to Brazil to...wait for it...wait for it...give a speech in Rio's famed Cinelandia Square. (*Spoiler Alert* The speech will be about Barak Obama).

The Obamas will also visit the Christ the Redeemer statue atop Mt. Corcodavo.  No word if he plans to have the monument updated in his likeness.

 

News We Can Use

 

Trial By Jury

The day started out so well.   I had a great workout.  I was able to side step two totally pointless meetings with lesser clients, and schlep their followup on two of my minions who, for some sick and inexplicable reason, live for long drawn out meetings that are destined to go nowhere. 

It wasn't to last.  As I sorted though the mail, there it was, mocking me with it's false congratulatory salutations:  "Congratulations, Citizen, you have been selected for jury duty."  Oh, ya...right.  Great.  Thanks.  I'm sorry I don't have any confetti.

The letter that comes with a summons is always a lot of laughs.  I love the line, "State law makes your service as convenient as possible for the majority of our citizens."  *cough*  Yes, the retired, unemployed, and the unemployable have nothing particular to do with their time, so, ya, it works great for them.  However, those of us who do own businesses, have employees--any of you out there who do employ people know what a "joy" that is--and have deadlines/responsibilities it's a real pain in the ass.

Yes, yes, I know.  Trial by jury is one of those noble institutions enshrined in the constitution,a sign of a free people, bla bla bla.  It's one of those good things that, like health food, is good for you is but about as palatable as milk toast.

I used to be engaged to an lawyer, so, naturally, I have a healthy contempt for attorneys in general.  Especially trial lawyers.  The prospect of being stuck in a whole nest of them isn't a pleasant one indeed.

Still, it could be worse.  A note from the county clerk for jury duty is no where as annoying as a happy gram from the IRS.

Laissez les bons temps rouler!!!!

Happy Mardi Gras!!! 

2012: The Anti Choice

In case you've been living under a rock for the past two years, you might not know today is the big day.  Well, not the big day, but the first big day out of a lot of other days in campaign 2012. The first big crop of candidates have declared that they're NOT running for the White House this go round.

Indeed, the networks have been all a twitter about the great GOP Exodus.  That is to say, two candidates who have said repeatedly they're not running and one more you'd never heard of unless you live in North Dakota. Clearly this proves beyond the shadow of a doubt the great political prowess of our dear Historic Leader and the great inevitability that he alone can unite and transform a nation.  Uh  Right.  I'll take what's behind the curtain, Monty.

Maybe we're going about this all wrong.  Perhaps the best way to bring the nation together in this day and age isn't to look for a white night to lead us to the shining city on the hill.  Maybe the best thing for us to do is to elect the one candidate we all can hate the most.

To that end, I give you Ron Paul.

No, really.  It's not the liquor talking.  Hear me out on this.

It's clear that no one, including me, is all hot and bothered for anyone who might want the job.  In fact, I can't think of a time when the public has ever felt so uninspired by everyone.  Weren't we all just suckered into Change We Can Believe In?

Now think about President Paul.  Don't' worry, I'll wait until your spasm passes.  Feeling better?  Good!  Can you think of any candidate out there guaranteed to throw both parties into collective fits?  I'll bet the Honeymoon doesn't make it past the Inaugural Address.  When he moves to abolish the Federal Reserve, return to the Gold Standard, and the rest of his 1000 points of crazy the two warring sides will have no choice but to ban together to stop the lunacy.  Paul's craziness is such a haphazard and bizzare checkerboard of the ideological spectrum that neither party will have the upper hand.

There is another bright point to all of this.  Both parties will be so busy trying to keep Paul in check that they won't have the time or the energy to dream up new and creative ways to blow the national piggy bank.  They'd also be too preoccupied to meddle in our affairs as citizens.  What bliss!  I can't think of a better recipe to tell our elected representatives to buzz off.

Man Men

I'm sorry, but I'm rolling on the floor laughing.  This is RIGHT out of my childhood...

 

Just Say Any Crazy Thing You Like

You know it’s going to be one of “those days” when you wake up to find the dishwasher stuck and the Phelp’s family gloating on TV (hold your nose, my friends, this, sadly, isn’t a parody).  The Supreme Court just held in an 8 – 1 ruling(Justice Alito was the lone dissenter) that the Westboro Baptist Church is free to continue protesting military funerals.

 

For those of you lucky enough not to be acquainted with the Phelp’s family or their so called “church” of crazy, they’re the whack jobs who have been protesting military funerals (and just about everything else you can think of) with the big “God Hates Fags” signs. In the 90’s they protested at funerals of AIDS victims claiming the deaths was God’s judgment against sin (i.e. homosexuality, promiscuity, having sex in positions other than the missionary take your pick) For the past few years they’ve been protesting military funerals under the guise that the death of our soldiers is some form of divine retribution against American hairdressers.  Seriously.

I must admit that I’m torn on this one.  I agree with Chief Justice Roberts intellectually. I’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite if I were to say otherwise.  But…*ugh* I wish I could.  Years ago, when I was a senior at the University of Wyoming, Phep's and his band of crazies invaded our campus after the murder of Mathew Shepard.  How anyone can take such sardonic glee in tragedy I'll never know.

There is no other way to say it: the Westboro “Baptist Church” is vile.   I feel physically ill at the notion that the constitution, created by men of reason in the age of enlightenment, a document crafted to stand sentinel over a free people safeguarding their right to lead orderly productive lives free from interference of king or state, should be used to prop up the Phep’s brand of spited bigotry.  However, we don’t get to cherry pick.  Just like the Klan, the NAZI’s or Code Pink, the right of free speech is extended to all.  To restrict it would do far greater harm than the Pheps’ of the world could ever dream of doing.  For now, we’re going to be stuck listening to a lot of gloating. In the meantime NOTE TO EVERYONE:  Ignore these losers!  It’s the only way they’re ever going to go away.

Ending of An Era

With all the brew-ha-ha in Wisconsin, the melt down in the middle east, and a looming government shutdown an event in Florida went almost unreported.  The final launch of the space shuttle Discovery.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the space program.  From reading about it's early days when a nation waited with baited breath for US astronauts come from the dark side of the moon; the moment when man broke the bonds of Earth to stand on the moon itself.  To my own experiences of my youth, following the shuttle program it's heady successes and two tragic failures.  It seemed to encapsulate the American experience.  The exuberant rush of a people punch drunk from the thrill of the possible, confident in their abilities, proud in their nation, and defying gravity itself with a wild glint in their eyes.  An occasion where the phrase "yes we can" reflected promise, progress, and unlimited possibilities which are the reward of a free people, not the thin vale of an excuse to expropriate.

 The last US shuttle to lift off with be Atlantis in April.  Atlantis.  That's fitting is so many ways.

Chicken Run

So the Democrat caccus of the Indiana Legislature has decided to follow the lead of the WI Dems and take a stand.  And by "take a stand" I mean put their tails between their legs and run like hell for the border.  (Who knew that Democrats were migratory?!?)

I've got to look into this who elected officialgig.  I mean, what other job can you decide to sneak out the back door and stay at fancy hotels on the company nickel and NOT get fired.  Call me crazy, but given the state of things I don't think the general public is in the mood for catch me if you can adolescent behavior on the part of anyone.  Only time will tell.

I guess we can all look on the bright side.  All the hotel tax dollars Illinois is racking up from on the lamb legislators just might just be enough to pay for the new "Home of Barak Obama" signs being placed at Illinois ports of entry!

San Angelo Stock Show and Rodeo Parade

Here are a few pictures I took at the San Angelo Stock Show Rodeo parade this morning.  Somehow I don't expect a Pulitzer prize for photo journalism via blackberry anytime soon! LOL

 
 

Happy Drink Wine Day (as if we needed a reason)

In case you hadn't heard, Feb 18th is National Drink Wine Day!!  Not that I've ever really needed a reason to indulge of the fruit of the vine, but he's to it!

Clearly the Wisconsin Senate Democrat caucus must have confused it with National Whine Day (or put your tail between your legs and run like hell for Rham Emanuel's pad in Washington DC Chicago Day.  Take your pick. The WI Dems have ripped a page out of Harold Cook's play book and are on the lamb.  *spoiler alert*  It won't work this time either.  They've even brought Jesse Jackson out of mothballs for this one.

I know this might be a little babe in the woods naivete, but I like to think the folks we elect to public office from both parties are adults.  We live in very serious times.  How any anyone in their right mind can not recognize the fiscal crisis we're in is beyond me.  I mean, what part of "there is no more money" don't they understand.  The behavior of the WI Democratic caucus is childish at best and pernicious at the core.  Go back to work.  Have a debate.  If you have a winning argument you will prevail.  If you lose, you've got two whole years to make your case to the people to elect new representatives This is, of course, what the whole business of a representative form of government is all about.  Given the state of things, I don't think the public at large is going to be willing to entertain political theater.

Kudos to Gov Walker for standing up for the principles he ran on. 

Happy Stimulus Day!!!

It’s hard to believe it was just two short years ago today that Historic Leader passed his $787 Billion Dollar pork project that would save us from having unemployment top 8% (oops) and rid of us all those irksome potholes with oodles of shovel ready jobs that didn't exist (let's all be kind and NOT tell Obama about Santa or the Toothfairy) 

I scoured Emily Post to see what is the proper gift to mark the occasion, but, alas, she's mute ont he subject so we'll have to wing it.  Suggested gifts to mark the occasion is a tube of KY to be presented to ones grandchildren? 

Fun-Employment

One of the perks of being unemployed and liberated from the burden of being a producive member of society is the free time to do just about anything.  Today I opted to go to a roping and oggle hot guys.

Enjoy!

 

 

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A Taste of Chisum

I'm sorry, but ever since he got into the speaker's race I've been dying to use that headline.  All juvenile snak aside, it looks like the really is a speakers race brewing this year.  I say this because of the daily bombardment of my in-box with e-mail subject lines like "Speaker Straus MUST GO" and "No More Liberal Pro-AbortionLeadership in the Texas House."  Eeeek.  Who knew that Straus was in bed with US House Speaker Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi?!? (now that's not a pretty mental image)

Hardly a day has gone by since Nov 2nd thatI haven't received a phone call from someone at the party HQ asking me to call my representative NOT to sign his pledge card for Straus. (what is this, some kind of Victorian ball?) 

I understand why many of my fellow Republicans are a little miffed over the way last session was held.  But hey, when you have a one seat majority you can't act as if you rule the chamber if you want to get anything done.  Things are different now.  With the 2/3 super majority the GOP will have the votes to do..well, pretty much anything they want.  Speaker Straus no doubt will organize his leadership to reflect the new political realities of 2011.

We live in challenging times.  I hope that however the speaker's race turns out, the winner will keep all of his focus on fiscal responsible policy that will continue to attract business and jobs to Texas and not waste time of Historic Leader's Birth Certificate or other such nonsense.

 

And Then There Was One (More)

The incredible shrinking Democratic Caucus in the Texas House just got smaller.  Rep Allan Ritter D R-Neederland has announced that he will be leaving the Democrat party to join the Republican majority.  This brings the chamber to 99 Republicans.  The last open seat in Sequin will, baring anything really bizarre going down (like *THAT* ever happens in Texas politics)be filled by a Republican giving the GOP a 2/3 majority for the first time since reconstruction.  Woot!

Don't get me wrong, I'm always thrilled when someone sees the light and takes a step in the right direction, but Ritter's statement to the press sounded a whole lot more self serving than district serving...

"I've spoken with my family and they fully support me. I haven't had anyone who hasn't supported me. I haven't gotten any Democrats who said they want to shoot me. They all understand. This is a decision that members and candidates need to make and review all the time. If they represent their district they need to be as reflective of the district as they can be. That's each member's decision. I've had friends that have switched from Republicans to Democrats and from Democrats to Republicans. I don't care. It's about them taking care of their jobs and their district."

Well, of course no Democrats have said they what to shoot you, Allan, how much trouble would that get them with the Anti-Gun lobby. *duh*

Personally, I get a little tired of the whole "I'm doing X to reflect the feelings of my district" spin that politicians love to use. I mean,  Really?  I thought we had campaigns to discover the core beliefs and convictions of different candidates so we could vote for the one that most represents us, not some weak tea "whatever the public mood is today" pansy.  I'd have more respect for Rep Ritter if he'd had the gumption to stand up and say, "Pelosi and her band of crazies have made Texas democrats and endangered species and I'm not going to be the next Chet Edwards."

The Odd Couple

Oh to have been a fly on the wall at this meeting.  Friday afternoon former President Bill Clinton stopped by the White House to give Historic Leader "advice" on how to sell his tax compromise with the senate GOP (aka how to make yourself look relevant after being pounded like cheap veal).  Given the animosity between the two (check out the body language) I'm sure this was about as much fun as a root canal and a colonoscopy combined.   I wonder how it all went down?

Clinton:  The ol' Oval Office...hey baby, daddies home. *sits down*

Obama:  Uh...Bill, that's my chair.

Clinton:  Sorry man, my bad.  Old habit.  What can I do for you Mr. President?

Obama: I'm...uh...reach out to you..because...uh...you took a similar beating back in '94

Clinton:  Pal, I didn't lose 64 seats but why fight.  You're looking for a little help, and this is hard for you, I get it.  Rule one, look at me not the teleprompter.

Obama:  No it's not, Bill

Clinton:  Oh come on.  This is eating you alive.  Having to ask for advice.  From me?  So executive experience really *DOES* matter.

The press briefing following the meeting was almost surreal.  Seriously.  I want to know *who* in the west wing thought letting Bill Clinton anywhere NEAR the podium was a good idea?!?  The moment when Clinton excuses Obama from his own presser was priceless.

 

The real question is:  how many secret service agents did it take to get Clinton OUT of the White House that evening?

 

Big Barbie Is Watching

Move over Big 'sis Napolitano, there's a new sheriff in town and she ain't wearin' sensible shoes!  That's right, Barbie has jumped into the fight to secure the homeland.  Video Girl Barbie comes equipped with a built in video camera to record just about everything. It's like George Orwell, but cute.

  

Personally, I think most girls should be kept under surveillance from age 5 to 18 (hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, but tween females: evil.  Like the fruit of the devil), but seriously, folks, aren't these cameras getting a little ridiculous.  I'm beginning to think that Vegas has fewer eyes watching than your local HEB.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Gayborhood

Houston reporters got a first hand taste of what many of us know to be a universal truth:  f' with a power dyke and she will cut you (off).  Mayor Annise Parker walked out of her presser on Tues after being repeatedly dogged by reporters about the creation of a gay district. 

 

Rumors started to "come out" about this "closeted" district (I'm sorry, I can't help it) after conservative Houston city councilman Mike Sullivan (who is far as I know isn't related to Andrew Sullivan) was asked to step down from the committee over seeing the redistricting process.  This, of course, comes after Parker's threat to send him to Siberia after he opposed her on the Port Commission.  Who knew Houston had gulags?

Now while Mayor Parker is (spoiler alert for all of you at CNN still in shock over Jody Foster) a lesbian, I think that this move is more likely the ago old game politician A whacking politician B over the nose with a rolled up newspaper for...wait for it...political reasons rather than nefarious plot in the big gay agenda to create a city council district where children, fanny packs, and polyester would be illegal.

Hmmm while we're at it, can we finally get around to banning children in decent restaurants after 7:00?

Christmas Just Threw Up All Over My House

It's that time of year again.  Clearly, Christmas has thrown up all over my house.  Film at 11:00.  Carry on...

 

 

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Fort Concho (Christmas Drills)

I thought I'd share some pictures I took at Fort Concho the other day.  (And by saying "I took them" what I really mean is "no commoments on my lack of crackberry photographic prowess")  Fort Concho, located on the bank of the Conhco River in San Angelo, TX is one of a series of forts commissioned after the Civil War to survey west Texas, protect settlers, and the cattle trails. 

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