Emily Post's Guide to Caucus Etiquette

Things are just about to get started.  Here is a quick primer on the rules governing the Hawk-eye Cauci.

Democrats

1. Caucus participants will be asked to group themselves according to which candidate they support
2. Some bitter old school marm will tally up the bodies to see which candidates meet the 15% threshold requirement
3. Participants who are stuck with a loser candidate, aka one that didn't get the 15% viability threshold, will be given the option to "make their vote count" by pledging their support to a non loser candidate
4. There is then a persuasion time where supporters of the viable candidates have the opportunity to persuade aka bribe the participants stuck with a loser
5. The second vote is taken and the results are sent via snail mail to party HQ.

All in all, it is a lot like the officer elections in my college fraternity...only without bribery by beer.

Republicans

1. Caucus participants vote via secret ballot for whom the wish to support
2. Caucus participants go to the bar to drink and mock the CNN commentators

The Rest of the Country Watching

1. Each time Wolf Blitzer says something stupid or obvious - take one drink
2. Each time Ron Paul or one of the RonUlans bring up the evil Neo-Cons at CNN, FOX, ABC, CBS, NBC, TBN, ETC that are suppressing them from getting out their message - giggle and take two drinks
3. Each time Fuck-A-Bee says "Jesus" take three drinks
4. Each time Sen Dodd shows signs of life take one drink
5. Each time some one brings up Hillary's womynness or Obamas blackness take two drinks
6. Each time someone actually is able to say just who Duncan Hunter is take one drink
7. Each time someone talks about "regular Americans" chug the glass
8. Each time someone brings up Rudi's drag show days Sing a chorus of "Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend" and chug the glass
9. Each time Hillary lets loose a Cackle to a keg stand or chug from the bottle for at least 5 seconds
10. Each time a commentator tells us that Iowa means nothing down your drink, throw that glass at the TV, and yell DIE SUCKA!!

Let the games begin!